Written transcript of talk given to Class X students at St. Paul's High School, 28th November, 2022

Good morning. I would like to begin by thanking Mazher Ali Ahmed saab and Brother Sudhakar Reddy for giving me this opportunity to be here, a good 44 years after I left the corridors and grounds of this great school. I never thought I would ever be here to thank the school and the teachers for having made me what I am today. While this is a great honor, it is also a great responsibility and I wonder what I will say this morning that will make a mark on young minds. I must first and foremost say that I am still the child that I was in those formative years as a child. As Picasso said, as a child I used to paint as a grown-up, and as an adult I have tried all my life to paint like a child. It is a child that is imbued with curiosity about the world, and is filled with a wonder and an urge to know what is what. Every color, every sound, every smell is new and wondrous. To a child every adult is a repository of knowledge, or experience and of learning. In the field in which I work, it turns out that every stage one relives the experience of the child. To me this is the greatest aspect of being in the field of research and science about which I have been charged with the responsibility to speak to you about. In the era of YouTube (the CEO of which Susan Wojicki by the way is the daughter of a particle physicist Stanley) and of TedX talks, what is one more talk? Why one more? Why here? Mazher Ahmed saab asked me if I would need some projection facilities and declined. I learnt from Patrick Winston a professor from MIT who gave several talks on how to give talks has emphasized, and ever since I first heard him, it became obvious that we have only one language processor. If you are seeing and reading something, you do not hear the speaker, and vice versa. That is why today I decided that if I am to make a mark on you, it is only through the auditory channel. Of course you will watch me and my every gesture and every nuance, and I hope that you will take something away, indeed as I did of my famous teachers in the school and I should name Rasool Sir, Krishnamurthy Sir, Irene teacher, Sakina teacher to name a few. My visual impressions are the strongest, and I can even see my mother talking to Brother Stanislaus about 50 years ago.

A friend of mine who works in the publishing industry in Delhi told me that Indian students like to read even technical books written by Indian authors. This struck me as something unusual, or something that I had not thought of. I think she meant that the way in which the turn of phrase takes place, or the way and example is brought out is also culture dependent. I know for a fact that our students like to have many steps worked out, and also like explicit demonstration. Every culture has its own style. For instance American books have a lot of diagrams and drawings, and different sub-topics in boxes. If this is the case for something that is inanimate like a book, then what about a talk? A motivational speech? It is of course an untested hypothesis, but I would imagine that looking at me and hearing me would be qualitatively different from watching a lecture by a famous American or European scientist talking about his or her experiences about a life in science. A lot is said about role models. In the context of role models for women, it is said that you can only be what you can see. Surely this must also be true for regional, national, cultural categories. It is often the case that role models that are presented or held up are remarkable persons, indeed some extraordinarily singular persons like, e.g., Srinivasa Ramanujan, or C V Raman or Satyendra Nath Bose, who are persons from another era, and another time. Others include great institution builders like Homi Bhabha or Vikram Sarabhai, but that was from an era when India was a young country. An individual at the cross-roads of history would make a huge difference. That is also the case for legendary persons such as Richard Feynman or Robert Oppenheimer, who were charismatic and also had their destinies tied up with that of the world itself, having been tempered in the crucible of history. What about the normal and the ordinary? My mission therefore is to offer a few words in this direction as to what a career in science and research and teaching, both of which are inextricably tied up together.

I do not need to offer a definition of science here. We all know what science is. Is the human effort to come to terms with the world around us. To find out the relationship between cause and effect, with rigor and reproducibility at the core and heart of it. It is to find a precise language independent of the era or the place, which is universal. Modern science as we know it probably came into being in the last few centuries. Empirical science is as old as civilization itself, the latter founded on the taming of nature, to find out the pattern to the cycles of nature, to put natural forces to the service of human beings. From the rise and fall of the tides to the prediction of rains or to the annual flooding of the Nile, to the making of Wootz steel and Chola Bronzes, art and civilization have gone hand in hand with science. It is on the one hand a great co-operative effort of civilizations themselves, and that of the individual striving on the other. While there is a dance between the needs and impulses and urges of individuals and the harmonizing of the needs of the general vs. that of the individual, history has marched on.

Today, science is an international enterprise. Large science projects from the human genome project to alpha-fold, or the Large Hadron Collider or the LIGO have teams of hundreds if not thousands of scientists. And yet we do know that ideas from individual trailblazers cannot be under emphasized. How is a young person to prepare and train herself or himself for this noble endeavor? It also has to be kept in mind that science is probably like a marathon to be run like a sprint or sprinting a marathon. There are innumerable pressures of competition and rat-race which is a feature of advanced capitalist society. There is little substitute for hard work and concentration, and persistence and perseverance. The rewards are the joy of discovery, that Eureka moment for which one may have to wait a lifetime. The process of scientific work requires a great deal of knowledge, assimilation, analysis and synthesis. Henri Poincare is said to have spoken of his Eureka moment, and so has Albert Einstein. Psychology of creativity has rested on 4 important milestones of preparation, incubation, illumination and verification, which clearly have nothing to do with a given individual, culture, era or national or any other kind of category.

My purpose in being here is to talk a little about what makes a voyage possible for someone from India and what are the life-experiences. While it is impossible to be anything but anecdotal, it seems to me that the life-forces that shape us are our birth-families and the cultures of the cities and towns in which we are born, about whether or not there is exposure to a culture of science and knowledge, in addition to abilities of individuals, at e.g., problem solving, and whether or not there is access to life-influences like peer groups, the educational institutions to which go, the kinds of teachers we have, the availability of books and libraries. I cannot understate the importance that these have had on my life. In my being here I offer myself as an example of someone who has had a life in science, albeit of a rather esoteric and technical type, where there is little I can share with a non-specialist except to say that my work has used mathematics, field theory, and physical models to try to improve our basic understanding of sub-nuclear phenomena, from the determination of the analog of the electric charge of the strong interactions, the lifetime of certain unstable particles, the search for patterns among the masses of elementary particles, deploying of tools to improve the knowledge of scattering processes, and finally to solve problems of evaluation of integrals that arise in general settings, but also make an appearance in physical problems. Each day that I work in this field I feel that I have learnt a little bit more. Whereas the human experience is often a little frustrating, it can also be elevating. Like it is in every sphere of human life.

What I can say is that even today, I feel like a child in the sense that I feel I still don't know anything and like after every class in school I felt I knew a bit more, I feel that way after every little I effort. Of course, the cycle must go on. We educate others, the way we were educated in this great temple of learning and it is once again an honor for me to be here. I hope that every one of you will take away a little bit and I hope that this half-hour will make a difference to your life. I thank every one of you.